illseeyou-rosetyler:

in which the cast continues to be the best thing ever

zodiacs

pornstarwars:

aquarius - chill 

pisces - get out the bath before u shrivel up 

aries - stop shoplifting 

taurus - stop sleeping n do something 4 once 

gemini - 2 faced bitch 

cancer - why r u always crying 

leo - stop setting things on fire

virgo - don’t eat that

libra - shut up

scorpio - moody bitch 

sagittarius - calm down

capricorn - why u always flirting with everyone 

Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what’s real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we’ll die to defend? Who chains us? And Who holds the key that can set us free… It’s You. You have all the weapons you need. Now Fight!

edwardspoonhands:

xcarolynnn:

cloudydayrealestate:

the satisfaction

One time in like 5th grade I had this teacher and she gave us all bottles of shit like this and told us to squeeze it all out and of course we were like fuck yeah and did it and then she said, “Now, try and shove it all back in the container.” Of course we all tried, and then stared at her confused as shit. When we all obviously gave up, she said, “In the moment, you were so consumed with what you were doing that you didn’t realize the mess you were making. Then, after it was so quickly and easily poured out, you realize it is impossible to put it all back in. Remember this for the rest of your lives when it comes to the words that come out of your mouth” and we were like 10 so we were like yeah ok whatever lady, but somehow to this day I think of it constantly. 

I don’t get it…when you talk does a stream a toothpaste fly out of your mouth? If so…are you an X-Man?

everydaycomics:

Groot suddenly reunites with his long lost great-grandfather, Treebeard! 

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

guy:

popularboyfriend:

guy:

if hot dads make hot kids and ugly dads make hot kids then who makes the ugly kids??

ur dad

image

loltias:

Seeing people the same age as you doing awesome things with their lifeimage

lalasdreambox:

deycallmetrey:

She don’t believe in shooting stars

💀

tiqachu:

demeaniac:

one sentence horror story: “seems like we’re the last two people on earth, m’lady”

NO.

theblogofmicah:

Always the best option.

somione:

so apparently the munchkins line was improvised??? omg

tegan-or-sara:

me around small children

cygate:

movies with cool concepts but poor execution in writing

image

SOONCO